


the town with pep

by galaxy_houseplants



Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: Betty Cooper Needs a Hug, Bisexual Archie Andrews, Bisexual Betty Cooper, Bisexual Veronica Lodge, Everyone Is Gay, F/F, Fluff and Crack, Fluff and Humor, Gay, Gay Jughead Jones, Group chat, Human Disaster Archie Andrews, I'm Bad At Titles, I'm writing this as i go, Jughead Jones is Not Asexual, M/M, More tags to be added, Movie Night, My First Work in This Fandom, Riverdale High School, Texting, Work In Progress, badly kept secrets, it's pretty silly so far lads, maybe angst to come, sorry guys rip
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-09
Updated: 2019-04-27
Packaged: 2019-10-24 17:53:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 11,097
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17708921
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/galaxy_houseplants/pseuds/galaxy_houseplants
Summary: Wednesday 09:26veronicalodgechanged the group name toso how are my best friends doing on this fine dayjugheadjones:Veronica how many times have i told you to message us rather than changing the group nameveronicalodgechanged the group name toclearly not enough times, Cup Skull Boy





	1. cup skull boy

**Author's Note:**

> hey y'all!! this is chapter one of my riverdale group chat fic, or as I like to call it, writer's block relief.
> 
> it's kind of trashy and very gay
> 
> i'll update as i finish and edit chapters. each one should be around 1k ish
> 
> hope yall enjoy i giggled writing this

**_The Core Four (bettycooper, archieandrews, jugheadjones, veronicalodge)_ **

_ Wednesday 09:26 _

**_veronicalodge_ ** _ changed the group name to  _ **_so how are my best friends doing on this fine day_ **

**jugheadjones:** Veronica how many times have i told you to message us rather than changing the group name

**_veronicalodge_ ** _ changed the group name to  _ **_clearly not enough times, Cup Skull Boy_ **

**jugheadjones:** literally what did i do to deserve this

**_veronicalodge_ ** _ changed the group name to  _ **_that’s for me to know and you to find out, Pitcher Brain_ **

**jugheadjones:** _ @bettycooper  _ please can you stop studying and help me

**archieandrews:** why are you asking Betty for help

**jugheadjones:** hi arch :)

**jugheadjones:** and because she’s a certified Veronica wrangler

**bettycooper:** why am I the certified Veronica wrangler? Archie’s her boyfriend??

**archieandrews:** literally no?? I’m not??

**jugheadjones:** Betty What???

**veronicalodge:** hold one second

**archieandrews:** Betty What,,, like Betty White,,, did you guys see that

**_veronicalodge >> bettycooper_ **

**veronicalodge:** b Archie and i broke up weeks ago??

**bettycooper:** why didn’t you tell me???????? >:(

**veronicalodge:** because ginger and i only went on two dates and decided we were better off as friends,, we were never actually boyfriend and girlfriend 

**veronicalodge:** So i guess we kind of didn’t break up, just stopped dating. it was nothing official

**bettycooper:** this is why you tell me things!!! i thought y’all had been boyfriend and girlfriend this whole time

**veronicalodge:** Nope!! Veronica lodge is single!! guys and girls of riverdale high better watch out!!

**bettycooper:** Wait holdup guys And Girls?

**veronicalodge:** ???yes????you know this????

**bettycooper:** NO I DID NOT

**bettycooper:** WHY DO PEOPLE NOT TELL ME THINGS

**veronicalodge:** i thought you’d have figured it out by now even if i did forget to tell you??

**veronicalodge:** little miss Hotter Version of Nancy Drew??

**bettycooper:** coollolllollll

**bettycooper:** i gotta gay

**bettycooper:** go

**veronicalodge:** okay??? bye boo??

**_bettycooper >> jugheadjones _ **

_ bettycooper sent a file: SHETHINKSIMHOT.jpeg _

**bettycooper:** hi jughead so i just learned some things!!!!

**bettycooper:** Veronica is single, bisexual, and thinks I’m a hotter version of Nancy Drew???

**jugheadjones:** none of this is news to me but thanks i guess

**bettycooper:** HOW DOES EVERYONE BUT ME KNOW THIS ABOUT MY BEST FRIEND

**jugheadjones:** because as good of a detective as you are when it comes to your crush and your friends’ personal lives  you are incredibly oblivious

**bettycooper:** i never told you i had a crush on her

**jugheadjones:** yeah Betts i figured it out

**bettycooper:** HUH

**_that’s for me to know and you to find out, Pitcher Brain (bettycooper, archieandrews, jugheadjones, veronicalodge)_ **

**jugheadjones:** we really need a new name

**_jugheadjones_ ** _ changed the group name to  _ **_the core four_ **

**jugheadjones:** order has been restored

**veronicalodge:** :)

**bettycooper:** v no don’t do it

**veronicalodge:** :(

**veronicalodge:** only for you, betty

**bettycooper:** COOL THATS GREAT I’LL SEE YOU IN CLASS GUYS

**archieandrews:** literally what is going on with betty 

**archieandrews:** you’d think I’d know considering we’ve been friends since we were tiny but i have no idea

**veronicalodge:** yeah idk either she’s been acting strange around me

**jugheadjones:** yeah i don’t know,, anything,, either

**_jugheadjones >> bettycooper_ **

**jugheadjones:** just covered for your dumb ass in the group chat 

**bettycooper:** you did literally the bare minimum 

**jugheadjones:** rude but okay

 

**_the core four (bettycooper, archieandrews, jugheadjones, veronicalodge)_ **

_ Thursday 03:54 _

**archieandrews:** do you guys think that scooby doo was just shaggys weed induced hallucination because i do

**archieandrews:** guys

**archieandrews:** guys

**archieandrews:** guys

**archieandrews:** guys

**archieandrews:** guys

**archieandrews:** guys

**archieandrews:** FRIENDS

**archieandrews:** THIS IS IMPORTANT

**archieandrews:** BETTS

**archieandrews:** VERONICA

**archieandrews:** JUGGIE

**archieandrews:** ANYONE

**jugheadjones:** shuT YOUR

**archieandrews:** good morning jughead :)))

**archieandrews:** so what did you think about my scooby-doo fan theory 

**jugheadjones:** YOU WOKE ME FOR THIS

**archieandrews:** how did i wake you

**jugheadjones:** IM RIGHT NEXT TO YOU YOUR PHONE BRIGHTNESS

**jugheadjones:** AND AS MUCH AS YOU’RE A GREAT FOOTBALL PLAYER YOU’RE NOT EXACTLY GRACEFUL IN YOUR MOVEMENTS TO GRAB YOUR PHONE

**jugheadjones:** THAT IS A TERRIBLE FAN THEORY WHA

**archieandrews:** thanks for your input ok you can go back to sleep

**jugheadjones:** hhhhHhHhHhh you’re the worst 

_ Thursday 08:26 _

**veronicalodge:** Archie you’re a dumbass but i have like 8 questions

**archieandrews:** good morning ex-girlfriend! what are your questions 

**veronicalodge:** im not your ex we weren’t official stop!!!

**veronicalodge:** number one why were you and jughead texting each other if you were in the same bed when you could use your perfectly functional mouths to speak

**archieandrews:** my father will wake up if he hears any disturbance and if i hadn’t just texted him jughead would have hit me!!

**jugheadjones:** bold of you to assume Archie knows how to use his brain cells to speak

**jugheadjones:** also i wanted you two to understand my plight in sleeping at archie’s

**veronicalodge:** Hmm. acceptable answer 

**veronicalodge:** number two. i know why you’re staying at Archie’s, jughead, But

**jugheadjones:** where is this going

**veronicalodge:** you being woken by his movements implies you were sleeping in the same bed. Archie’s bed isn’t really big enough for two people, so you must have been pretty close.

**veronicalodge:** america eggsplain

**archieandrews:** uhh 

**jugheadjones:** uhhh well the thing about That is I’m sleeping on an air mattress and uh Archie managed to slap me in the face while grabbing his phone because he’s just that uncoordinated

**archieandrews:** really threw me under the bus there juggie

**bettycooper:** good morning i smell lies

**bettycooper:** that was very convincing

**bettycooper:** but actually though?? was there cuddling involved

**veronicalodge:** were you guys spooning?!

**bettycooper:** is Archie the little spoon?!

**veronicalodge:** where did they go

**bettycooper:** this is very incriminating forsythe and archibald 

**archieandrews:** go away

_ archieandrews changed bettycooper’s name to stop snooping no. 1 _

_ jugheadjones changed veronicalodge’s name to stop snooping no. 2 _

**stop snooping no. 2:** i???? why are all my friends acting so weird around each other recently

**stop snooping no. 2:** it’s almost like,,, you all have some kind of crush based secret to do with someone else in this group.

**stop snooping no.2:** maybe I’ll have to consult the one functional relationship at this school and the one functional gay person at this school

**stop snooping no. 1:** V PLEASE DONT ASK THEM

**stop snooping no. 2:** too late bitch

**_stop snooping no. 2_ ** _ created the group  _ **_Help Me With My Friends Being Weird_ **

**_stop snooping no. 2_ ** _ added  _ **_kevinkeller_ ** _ ,  _ **_cherylblossom_ ** _ and  _ **_tonitopaz_ ** _ to  _ **_Help Me With My Friends Being Weird_ **

**kevinkeller:** what is this and why am i here

**tonitopaz:** ditto

**cherylblossom:** Veronica, why is your name stop snooping no. 2

**stop snooping no. 2:** long story but it’s tacky and I’m changing it

_ stop snooping no. 2 changed their name to veronicalodge _

**veronicalodge:** so. You might be wondering why I gathered you all here today.

**tonitopaz:** yes, we just asked

**veronicalodge:** you are here to help me with a conundrum.

**veronicalodge:** my best friend, Elizabeth Cooper, is acting very strangely around me specifically.

**veronicalodge:** and you three are going to help me find out why.


	2. what the hap

**_Help Me With My Friends Being Weird (veronicalodge, kevinkeller, tonitopaz, cherylblossom)_ **

_ Thursday 08:40 _

**cherylblossom:** what do you mean by ‘acting strangely’?

**kevinkeller:** do you have screenshots?

**tonitopaz:** yeah we want RECEIPTS

_ veronicalodge sent an image: RECEIPTS1.jpeg _

_ veronicalodge sent an image: RECEIPTS2.jpeg _

**veronicalodge:** it’s like, she’s only acting like this around me? like when i came out to her and when i said some offhand comment about her being like a hotter Nancy Drew, she just kind of ran away?

_ tonitopaz sent an image:  _ [ _ SUSPICIOUS.jpeg _ ](https://goo.gl/images/jDXEdN)

**kevinkeller:** thanks for your input Toni

**tonitopaz:** My pleasure, Kevin

**cherylblossom:** back on topic, yes that is a little strange that she would act that way.

**veronicalodge:** do you think she’s secretly homophobic or something?

**tonitopaz:** uhhh

**_Beronica Shippers Club (tonitopaz, cherylblossom, kevinkeller, jugheadjones)_ **

_ Thursday 08:46 _

**tonitopaz:** UMMM OH DEAR ALAS OH NO

**cherylblossom:** this is bad

**kevinkeller:** how do we convince her that she isn’t homophobic (because she’s bisexual herself and in love with her) without her figuring out that we know what’s up?

**jugheadjones:** hello what the hap is fuckening

_ cherylblossom sent an image: OHDEAR.jpeg _

**jugheadjones:** oh shit 

**kevinkeller:** she has NO IDEA

**cherylblossom:** when someone has that reaction to comments such as those Veronica made, there are two options. 

**cherylblossom:** she’s homophobic, or she likes Veronica and just learned that it’s possible that she likes her back.  and we know it’s the second option. but Veronica assumed it’s the first.

**tonitopaz:** how do we tell her

**kevinkeller:** idk why she thinks betty has even a homophobic bone in her body considering i exist, Betty’s friend since childhood, an openly gay guy

**cherylblossom:** Hot take? she’s oblivious. possibly in denial about her own crush on betty.

**tonitopaz:** ooooooOoOoOooOoOh do you know something, babe?

**cherylblossom:** no. but as you know, chérie, when i make guesses about someone, i tend to be right.

**tonitopaz:** I’m going to ask her if she likes Betty.

**jugheadjones:** no don’t do that

**kevinkeller:** TONI NO

**cherylblossom:** aaaaand she’s done it.

**_Help Me With My Friends Being Weird (veronicalodge, kevinkeller, tonitopaz, cherylblossom)_ **

**tonitopaz:** Veronica, do you have a crush on betty

**veronicalodge:** what? why do you ask?

**cherylblossom:** because we’re moving on from you asking if we think she’s homophobic because it’s an idiotic question. the answer is obviously no. Kevin is gay, he’s one of the people she’s been friends with the longest in the world, and she’s NEVER made a homophobic comment to him.

**cherylblossom:** and while having a gay friend doesn’t immediately make you not-homophobic, i know she isn’t because of several other reasons. 

**cherylblossom:** so just move on and drop it, and answer my girlfriend’s question.

**kevinkeller:** WHOA Cheryl

**tonitopaz:** damn 

**cherylblossom:** ahem i mean tell us if you want to xoxo

**veronicalodge:** i don’t know. i might like her. i haven’t really… thought about it, i guess? i love her a lot as my best friend, and i guess it wouldn’t be hard for that to turn into romantic love. i just think she only sees me as a friend.

**_bettycooper >> veronicalodge_ **

**bettycooper:** heyyyy im going to pops with my mom and polly and my makeup looks really cute look

_ bettycooper sent an image: YASSSS.jpeg _

**veronicalodge:** YOU LOOK PRETTY GTG

**bettycooper:** thanks??? bye??

**_Help Me With My Friends Being Weird (veronicalodge, kevinkeller, tonitopaz, cherylblossom)_ **

**veronicalodge:** UHHH OK CHANGED MY MIND I DEFINITELY HAVE A CRUSH ON HER

**cherylblossom:** wonderful! a breakthrough!

**cherylblossom:** now imagine it was betty who came out to you, told you she was single, and called you hot almost in one breath. What would you do?

**veronicalodge:** i would absolutely lose my mind and scream to you guys about it??

**tonitopaz:** and what did betty do when you said that to her?

**veronicalodge:** … said  ‘gotta gay’ and left?

**kevinkeller:** so that means…

**veronicalodge:** she knows i like her and finds it weird

**kevinkeller:** AAAAAAHHHhhHhhHhHhHHaaAahH VERONICA NO

**tonitopaz:** VERONICA SHE LIKES YOU BACK

**veronicalodge:** OHHHHH

**_Beronica Shippers Club (tonitopaz, cherylblossom, kevinkeller, jugheadjones)_ **

**tonitopaz:** JUGHEAD VERONICA KNOWS BETTY LIKES HER AND JUST SAID SHE LIKES BETTY

**jugheadjones:** this is a miracle from god

**jugheadjones:** jk im an atheist

**kevinkeller:** why did you need to tell us that again

**tonitopaz:** stop bullying jughead! our otp is going to become canon

**cherylblossom:** Toni haven’t we talked about not referring to our actual real lives as canon

**tonitopaz:** rip lol 

**kevinkeller:** im very excited about this!! they better get their shit together

**jugheadjones:** Wait how do you guys know this?

**cherylblossom:** oh Veronica made a group chat called ‘help me with my friends being weird’ and added the three of us to it

**jugheadjones:** makes sense but ‘friends’? this is just about Betty right

**tonitopaz:** So far yes, it’s just her gay panic

**tonitopaz:** But it’s only been like half an hour sooo

 

**_Help Me With My Friends Being Weird (veronicalodge, kevinkeller, tonitopaz, cherylblossom)_ **

**cherylblossom:** are you going to ask her out? as Betty’s second cousin, I give you my blessing.

**kevinkeller:** you guys would be a really cute couple :)

**veronicalodge:** tbh it’s all very new! i only figured out i like her like ten minutes ago and it might just be a phase or infatuation. maybe eventually i will

**tonitopaz:** yeah that makes sense

**kevinkeller:** we support you in all your decisions.

**cherylblossom:** yes that’s all very nice

**cherylblossom:** moving on- this chat is called ‘help me with my FRIENDS being weird’. friends plural.

**tonitopaz:** is something else going on?

**veronicalodge:** actually? Yes. Jughead and Archie are also acting VERY strangely.

**kevinkeller:** screenshots?

_ veronicalodge sent a photo: WHATTHEFUCK.jpeg _

**cherylblossom:** that explains ‘stop snooping no. 2’ then.

**kevinkeller:** okay, they are DEFINITELY hiding something. also, them sleeping in the same bed is ADORABLE.

**tonitopaz:** nothing against guys platonically sharing beds like girls do, but the way they’re talking about it makes it seem different.

**veronicalodge:** yeah like we know they’re best friends and best friends can share beds, but they ALSO KNOW that WE know that so why be so weird about hiding it?

**cherylblossom:** Veronica, that sentence made no sense whatsoever

**kevinkeller:** Cheryl don’t be mean we get it

**veronicalodge:** thanks Kevin xoxo

**veronicalodge:** but anyway it makes me think that they might not be sharing a bed,,, platonically,,, if you know what i mean

**tonitopaz:** as the kids say, oh tea?

**veronicalodge:** yes, Toni. 

**kevinkeller:** ooooh this is intriguing!

**cherylblossom:** i can’t believe that two more of the people i tolerate being around are LGBT. this really is rivergayle

**veronicalodge:** I’m not Sure yet so nobody say anything obvious to anyone but I’m gonna do some subtle snooping because i want to know about my friends’ relationships

**veronicalodge:** i pride myself on being all-knowing when it comes to love.

**cherylblossom:** just like your father is all-knowing when it comes to the shady mafia drug shit going on in this town?

**kevinkeller:** OOF

**tonitopaz:** did you have to go there

_ veronicalodge changed cherylblossom’s name to meanie :(  _

_ cherylblossom changed veronicalodge’s name to suck it up  _

**suck it up:** i guess that’s fair

**meanie :( :** i guess that’s fair

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> guys the real struggle writing this is that i've read so many gc fics that i write something funny and then realise it's exactly the same as something someone else wrote
> 
> originality is the bane of my existence


	3. tongue twister

**_bettycooper >> veronicalodge_ **

_ Sunday 11:38 _

**bettycooper:** omg omg omg Ronnie holy shit

**bettycooper:** RONNIE

**suck it up:** Hey boo xoxo what’s up

**bettycooper:** asssjdhksjshimgayksjshgsk

**bettycooper:** not even going to ask about your name

**bettycooper:** So yknow how Archie and i can see into each other’s bedroom windows if we leave our curtains open

**suck it up:** yes and that must have gotten weirder and weirder and much less cool as you grew up

**bettycooper:** yeah it kind of did actually but anyway

**bettycooper:** so Archie left his curtains open and… 

_ bettycooper sent a photo: JARCHIE.jpeg _

**suck it up:** OMG ARE JUGHEAD AND ARCHIE

**bettycooper:** making out? french kissing? playing tongue twister? yes

**veronicalodge:** there are several things wrong about that statement nobody says ‘tongue twister’ in that context Elizabeth

**suck it up:** but moving on I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS

**bettycooper:** it’s my job as Archie’s friend to take creepshots of him and his boyfriend? (fwb? date? idk lol) and send them to my other best friend

**bettycooper:** oh god shirts are being removed I’m leaving and I’m going to text Archie to close his goddamn blinds

**suck it up:** So they WERE cuddling that one time Archie woke him up with scooby doo

**bettycooper:** you say ‘that one time’ like it wasn’t literally two days ago

**bettycooper:** k brb I’m texting him

**_bettycooper >> archieandrews_ **

**bettycooper:** just saying if you were trying to keep your makeout sessions with jughead secret you might want to close your blinds :)

**archieandrews:** Wait shit how much did you see

**bettycooper:** don’t worry i only saw u long enough to tell Veronica and then you started taking off items of clothing so i immediately shut y’all off

**archieandrews:** oh that’s ok then

**archieandrews:** WAIT YOU TOLD VERONICA

**bettycooper:** Archie with three of us knowing she was going to find out eventually

**bettycooper:** and you made it VERY EASY for me to find out

**archieandrews:** i thought we were good at being sneaky :(

**bettycooper:** Archie i love you but you were the opposite of sneaky, buddy

**bettycooper:** i kind of knew even before

**archieandrews:** have you told anyone else???

**bettycooper:** god no, Archie, of course not 

**bettycooper:** it’s your thing to share if you want to

**archieandrews:** thanks betty. i feel like now you and Ronnie know we might tell a few more close friends

**bettycooper:** you should tell Kevin & Moose & choni! we have a riverdale lgbt group chat and y’all should be in on the gossip

**archieandrews:** Wait you and Veronica aren’t straight?

**bettycooper:** YES ARCHIE WHY DOES NOBODY COMMUNICATE IN THIS GODFORSAKEN FRIEND GROUP we’re both bi

**bettycooper:** anyways V is yellin at me to tell her how you reacted so bye have fun w/ ur boyfriend

**bettycooper:** one last question is he your boyfriend

**archieandrews:** yeah lol

**bettycooper:** nice

**archieandrews:** nice

**_veronicalodge >> bettycooper_ **

**suck it up:** WHATS THE TEA SIS

**bettycooper:** stop calling me sis

**suck it up:** it’s just Twitter Slang why not

**bettycooper:** because if you were my sister that would be weird

**suck it up:** y lol

**bettycooper:** MOVING ON

**bettycooper:** he was chill about me finding out, a little Less chill about me telling you immediately

**suck it up:** oh shit lol

**bettycooper:** dont worry though he’s all good with it now

**bettycooper:** hold on a sec i just heard a real loud crash from his house lemme see if theyre ok

_ bettycooper sent a photo: STRENGTH.jpeg _

_ Bettycooper sent a photo: GAYDISASTERS.jpeg _

**suck it up:** HOW

**bettycooper:** i have no idea but archie pushed jughead up against his closet and EVERYTHING fell out including his guitar

**bettycooper:** now theyre shoveling clothes off the floor

**suck it up:** ICONIQUE

**bettycooper:** he just saw me looking shitshitshit

**bettycooper:** i can’t send another photo but jughead is pouting at me and giving thumbs down while Archie runs around frantically 

**suck it up:** thank you for bringing this to me live please keep updating me if more drama happens

**bettycooper:** well, miss lodge, now, they’ve resumed trying to remove as many items of clothing as possible from each other’s bodies 

**bettycooper:** this feels weird, no more live feed sorry

**suck it up:** SURELY it’s not the weirdest thing you’ve done in your 16 years of life

**bettycooper:** well no, remember that thing with chuck clayton and the hot tub

**suck it up:** yeah that was fucking wild

**suck it up:** kinda hot though ngl 

**bettycooper:** hahaha see what you did there ‘hot’ haha

**bettycooper:** one day i should wear that wig to school and just not acknowledge that anything is different or wrong about it

**suck it up:** Archie and Jughead would lose their collective mind

**bettycooper:** skkkskkskskksks on Monday I’m gonna do it

**suck it up:** we should pretend some other things as well and REALLY fuck with all of our friends

**bettycooper:** Hmm. What’re you thinking

**suck it up:** we could pretend we’re a couple?? like say we’ve been together for ages and ‘everyone should know it by now’

**bettycooper:** can you IMAGINE Kevin’s face we’re absolutely doing this

**bettycooper:** do you have a blonde wig?? we should like swap personalities for the day

**suck it up:** GOOD PLANS BEING MADE RN and yes i do

**bettycooper:** ok don’t tell ANYONE about this i want to see if we can even get cheryl to ask what’s going on

**suck it up:** oh, i think she will once she sees you in that wig tomorrow

**bettycooper:** what do you even mean by that

**suck it up:** idk either lol

**bettycooper:** how did we even get here from talking about jughead and archie getting it

**_The Core Four (bettycooper, archieandrews, jugheadjones, suck it up)_ **

**suck it up:** guys I’m so glad we can all talk about how jughead and Archie are boyfriends finally

**jugheadjones:** finally? bitch we’ve been dating since a week after you and Archie ended things and official for like 3 weeks

**jugheadjones:** which doesn’t sound like a lot, but y’all haven’t been Archie Andrews’ boyfriend for three weeks

**archieandrews:** :( why do i feel like that was supposed to be mean but it came off as kinda sweet

**archieandrews:** best three weeks of my life 

**bettycooper:** even better than those three weeks we spent living in a tent in my backyard when we were 8 for no reason?

**archieandrews:** yes, infinitely better than that time we didn’t shower for almost a month, betty 

**suck it up:** ooh breaking out the big words are we, archiekins

**jugheadjones:** ‘infinitely’ is not a big word

**archieandrews:** well it kind of is for me babe

**jugheadjones:** that’s fair i guess

_ bettycooper changed archieandrews’s name to illiterate _

**illiterate:** harsh but true

**bettycooper:** ‘harsh but true’ is my middle name sweetie

**suck it up:** lol guys betty thinks she’s actually mean

**illiterate:** haha

**jugheadjones:** hahahaha

**bettycooper:** i get it!! I’m nice!!! point made!! god you guys don’t have to rub it in

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy valentine's day everyone! hope you appreciate the jarchie! i know it might be a lil rushed but i wanted at least 1 couple together for today.
> 
> next chapter i might do some actual writing for betty and veronica's shenanigans


	4. beronica

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **_bettycooper >> suck it up_**  
>  _Monday 07:15_  
>  **bettycooper:** ok what’s the full plan for today  
>  **suck it up:** i wear a blonde wig, you wear a black wig and we switch personalities for a day  
>  **bettycooper:** if anyone asks what’s going on, we make it seem like THEY are the ones who are acting weird

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry it's been a bit longer lol school just got crazy

**_bettycooper >> suck it up_ **

_ Monday 07:15 _

**bettycooper:** ok what’s the full plan for today

**suck it up:** i wear a blonde wig, you wear a black wig and we switch personalities for a day

**bettycooper:** if anyone asks what’s going on, we make it seem like THEY are the ones who are acting weird

**suck it up:** we also pretend to be a couple and if anyone asks, we say we’ve been together for ages and how did they not notice!!!

**bettycooper:** we should probably set some boundaries for that couple thing

**suck it up:** I’m good with like whatever i mean it’s not like we haven’t kissed/cuddled/held hands before

**bettycooper:** mm true yeah whatever is fine with me too

**suck it up:** let’s fool em >;)

_ bettycooper changed their name to suck it up _

**suck it up:** smart!

_ suck it up changed their name to nancydrew _

**nancydrew:** Boy this is gonna get confusing!!!!!

**suck it up:** well yeah that’s the point 

**nancydrew:** ok yeah I’m gonna get ready for school, I’ll see you in the student lounge, veronica :)

**suck it up:** see you then, betty :)

**_The Core Four (suck it up, illiterate, jugheadjones, nancydrew)_ **

**jugheadjones:** these names are getting wilder by the minute??

**illiterate:** @ betty and veronica what mysterious shenanigans are you getting up to i spidey sense something strange about those names

**nancydrew:** nothing you need to worry about, arch

**suck it up:** yeah archiekins, b and v are just being normal people :)

**_nancydrew >> bettycooper_ **

**nancydrew:** BETTY WHAT THE FUCK THAT WAS SO SUSPICIOUS

**suck it up:** i think it was fine

**_The Core Four (suck it up, illiterate, jugheadjones, nancydrew)_ **

**jugheadjones:** yeah they’re doing something and I’m extremely worried

**suck it up:** don’t worry about it! everything is fine :)

_ Monday 09:00 _

**illiterate:** @ BETTY AND VERONICA WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON

**jugheadjones:** WHAT ARE YOU DUMBASSES DOING THIS TIME

**nancydrew:** Hey don’t speak to my girlfriend like that pls

**illiterate:** G I R L F R I E N D  W H A T

**jugheadjones:** the plot thickens??

**illiterate:** since when??

**suck it up:** uhhh since like a month ago?? y’all have known about this

**jugheadjones:** no??

**illiterate:** and what’s with the wigs?? Veronica why are you blonde and Betty why do you have black hair??

**nancydrew:** wdym no i have blonde hair

**suck it up:** uhh yeah I’m a Ravenette™ 

_ nancydrew sent a photo: BLONDE.jpeg _

**illiterate:** THAT IS VERONICA IN A BLONDE WIG

**nancydrew:** no it is ME ELIZABETH COOPER

**jugheadjones:** whaT ARE YOU UP TO

**_nancydrew >> suck it up_ **

**nancydrew:** IM GOING TO CRY ARCHIE IS SO CONFUSED

**suck it up:** we got em folks

**suck it up:** heard anything from Cheryl/Toni/Kevin, v?

**nancydrew:** no lol but i hope i will soon

**_Beronica Shippers Club (jugheadjones, meanie :(, tonitopaz, kevinkeller)_ **

**_jugheadjones_ ** _ added  _ **_illiterate_ ** _ to  _ **_Beronica Shippers Club_ **

**kevinkeller:** welcome archie :)

**jugheadjones** _ changed the group name to  _ **_WHAT ARE BERONICA DOING_ **

**illiterate:** have you guys SEEN BETTY AND VERONICA

**meanie :( :** I saw them this morning. Any explanation for the wigs? Or the hand-holding?

**jugheadjones:** well no but they’re claiming that Veronica-in-a-wig is Betty and vice versa?

**illiterate:** and that they’ve been a couple for a month??

**kevinkeller:** I HAVENT SEEN THEM YET TODAY WHAT

**tonitopaz:** they’re in the student lounge, so are cheryl and i and jarchie

**jugheadjones:** yeah me and my boyfriend are with them

**kevinkeller:** BOYFRIEND?? WHAT IS GOING O N TODAY

**archieandrews:** oh yeah jughead and i are together did we not tell u

**kevinkeller:** NO

**meanie :( :** No

**tonitopaz:** NOPE

**meanie :( :** welcome to the rivergays, Archie and Jughead

**kevinkeller:** I’ll add you to the group chat!!

**tonitopaz:** that’s cute and all but my priority today is figuring out what the FUCK Betty and Veronica have been smoking and where I can get some??

**meanie :( :** babe no

**tonitopaz:** babe yes?? I’m gonna ask if anyone else knows what’s going on

**_everyone who’s relevant (suck it up, nancydrew, illiterate, jugheadjones, meanie :(, tonitopaz, josiemccoy, kevinkeller, moosemason, reggiemantle)_ **

**tonitopaz:** ROLL CALL

**meanie :( :** Here <3

**josiemccoy:** here?

**kevinkeller:** Yes

**moosemason:** yeah

**reggiemantle:** yup

**tonitopaz:** OK IM BORED OF ROLLCALL HAVE YALL SEEN BETTY AND VERONICA

**nancydrew:** we’re right here yknow

**_tonitopaz_ ** _ removed  _ **_nancydrew_ ** _ and  _ **_suck it up_ ** _ from the chat _

**tonitopaz:** they can come back when we figure this all out

**josiemccoy:** what’s going on??

**reggiemantle:** ??

**moosemason:** ??

**kevinkeller:** come to the lounge

**josiemccoy:** oh wigs??

**reggiemantle:** why do they both look kind of hot dressed as each other

**tonitopaz:** sigh

**meanie :( :** It’s time to confront them. I’m sure they have some idiotic explanation for whatever dumb prank they’re trying to pull off.

———————

Cheryl approached the couches that Betty (in a black wig) and Veronica (blonde) were sitting on, and planted herself opposite them, between Jughead and Archie, who grumbled a little and moved to a different seat. Immediately, she took note that they were sitting just like she and Toni did- Veronica almost sitting on Betty’s lap, an arm around her waist to stay upright, and another holding her hand. It looked natural, though, which was very strange considering that, to her knowledge, they weren’t a couple.

“Good morning, Betty. Veronica.”

Betty smiled a little, twirling a few strands of artificially shiny black hair in her fingers. “Morning, Cheryl. Everything okay?”

“Everything’s just fine with me. I want to know what’s going on with  _ you two. _ ” Veronica pursed her lips, looking at Betty and mouthing something. “Spill.”

“Nothing’s going on with us. Right, Betty?” Betty said to Veronica, who looked like she was pretty close to losing it and bursting out laughing.

“Nope. Everything’s just fine. Just as in love as usual. Why? Something up with you and Toni?”

“Nothing’s up! We’re fine. Just wondering when you two apparently got together?”

Josie chimed in from where she was standing, by the vending machines, the only other person who wasn’t pretending not to be listening.

“And what’s the deal with the wigs? Veronica, yours looks kinda cute, but Betty… it’s super weird.”

“Excuse me—“ Betty started, before Veronica cut her off.

“ _ Excuse me!  _ My hair looks great.” Veronica answered. “But yes, my girlfriend’s hair is very nice, too.”

“What is going  _ on?!”  _ Toni said, throwing her hands up with wide eyes. “Why are  _ you _ Veronica,” she said gesturing to Betty, “And  _ you  _ Betty?”

“Because… those are our names?”

Toni let out a dramatic and almost anguished yell. “Why are you so annoying?”

———————

**_nancydrew >> suck it up_ **

**nancydrew:** TONI’S FACE

**suck it up:** we are so infuriating i love it

**nancydrew:** It was worth pissing all our friends off just for Toni’s face

**suck it up:** also you’re a very good pretend girlfriend :) 

**nancydrew:** thank you it was fun sitting in your lap and also being able to refer to someone as my girlfriend :’)

**suck it up:** boy aint that a mood

**nancydrew:** this is fun but it makes me want an actual date

**suck it up:** same lol

**nancydrew:** haha

**suck it up:** haha

**_Everyone Who’s Relevant_ **

**josiemccoy:** theyre fucking with us and it’s so annoying but it’s so funny

**moosemason:** it’s so dumb?? 

**kevinkeller:** yeah surely there was a better way to prank us than to do the literal stupidest thing

**cherylblossom:** They’re claiming to be girlfriends. We need to make them prove it.

**kevinkeller:** are you thinking what I’m thinking

**cherylblossom:** make them kiss!

**kevinkeller:** ask their moms!

**kevinkeller:** no Cheryl donT DO THAT

———————

Cheryl decided it was time to approach them again at lunchtime. Time to make them crack.

“Afternoon, ladies. How’s the game going?”

“What game?” Betty answered, her head laying on Veronica’s lap. “We’re just chilling.”

“You know what I mean. Anyway, the group chat we kicked you two out of has come to a decision.”

“A decision on what? I wasn’t aware a choice was being made?” Veronica said, raising an eyebrow and absently running her hand through the black wig Betty was wearing.

“We know you two are just trying to mess with us, and, to be honest, I’m rather impressed with how long you’ve kept this up. So, kiss.”

“What?” Betty said, sitting up so quickly she almost headbutted Veronica in the bottom of the jaw. 

“Kiss! The only ways to prove you two are lying about being a couple were to make you kiss or to ask your parents, and none of us want to ask Hermione Lodge or Alice Cooper if their daughters are girlfriends  _ just  _ to ruin a stupid prank. So, kiss.”

“Oh, come  _ on.  _ We’re not gonna—“ Veronica started, blushing high in her cheeks, flustered.

“Of course we can do that. It’s not like we haven’t walked in on you and Toni making out before.” Betty said, moving so she was straddling a somehow even  _ more  _ flustered Veronica’s lap. Betty whispered something to her under her breath, and Veronica nodded, eyes darting to the side like she couldn’t look too hard at Betty. She moistened her lips with her tongue, and leaned forward hesitantly. 

Betty met her in the middle.

———————

**_The Core Four_ **

_ Monday 16:38 _

**jugheadjones:** just saying @nancydrew @suck it up y’all didn’t need to make out on the sofas for like five full minutes just to prove a point 

**illiterate:** yeah that got,,, really uncomfortable

**jugheadjones:** and considering nobody could find you for the rest of lunchtime after you left I’m guessing it didn’t end there

**illiterate:** can you tell us what’s actually going on?

**_suck it up >> nancydrew_ **

_ Monday 20:47 _

_ suck it up changed their name to bettycooper _

**bettycooper:** heyyy

_ nancydrew changed their name to veronicalodge _

**veronicalodge:** hi

**bettycooper:** so maybe we should talk?

**veronicalodge:** about the kiss. yeah.

**veronicalodge:** look. whatever happened today, and whatever happens in the future because of today, just know that being friends with you means everything to me and i don’t want to ruin it

**bettycooper:** i understand. we can just forget about today.

**veronicalodge:** let me finish bitch

**bettycopper:** ok asshat

**veronicalodge:** however, kissing you felt right. and it didn’t seem like you wanted to stop. i know i didn’t.

**bettycooper:** yeah it was like really good

**veronicalodge:** like 8x better than kissing Ronald McDonald

**bettycooper:** im really hoping you’re making a ginger joke about Archie because otherwise i would have a lot of questions that I’m not sure i want answered

**veronicalodge:** anyway moving on

**veronicalodge:** would you ever want to

**veronicalodge:** idk

**veronicalodge:** do that again?

**bettycooper:** not to sound like a whiny bottom but GOD YES PLEASE CAN WE

**veronicalodge:** sksks absolutely

**veronicalodge:** date this weekend? there’s a cinema in greendale showing a movie i kinda want to see

**bettycooper:** alsjhsajhsnwjshssja hell yeah 

**veronicalodge:** if this goes well, maybe you’ll learn that being my actual girlfriend is way better than being my pretend girlfriend ;)

**bettycooper:** hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Cool this has been fun see you at school tomorrow

**_bettycooper >> jugheadjones_ **

**bettycooper:** JUGHEAD

**bettycooper:** also this is Betty not Veronica-Betty

**jugheadjones:** what

**bettycooper:** Veronica and I have a date this weekend :)

**jugheadjones:** oh cool idc

**_WHAT ARE BERONICA DOING_ **

**jugheadjones:** THEYRE GOING ON A DATE

**tonitopaz:** YEEEEEEEEES

**meanie :( :** god fucking finally

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yay!! date next chapter probably  
> what did you guys think of putting a little actual writing in? it made sense this chapter but let me know what your thoughts are and if you hated it lol
> 
> also no i haven't seen caos so idk anything about greendale


	5. fungus & family

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so you guys know that chapter in the 3rd magnus chase book thats called like 'can you tell me what happens in this chapter because I have no clue'? yeah that's this
> 
> just saying: even though ashleigh murray is leaving the show, since this is only VERY VERY LOOSELY canon compliant and Josie's barely in this anyway im going to keep it as it is

**_The Core Four_ **

_ Thursday 18:36 _

**jugheadjones:** so how’s it popping y’all

**illiterate:** never say that again please

**veronicalodge:** whats crackalacking with you guys today

**illiterate:** no,,,

**bettycooper:** whats hip hop happening my fellow cool kids

**illiterate:** not you too betty

**veronicalodge:** *kim k voice* it’s what she deserves

**illiterate:** what did i DO

**bettycooper:** you know what you did

**illiterate:** THAT’S SO OMINOUS PLEASE TELL ME WHATS HAPPENING @jugheadjones

**jugheadjones:** nope babe you know that you absolutely deserve this

**_Kool Kidz (jugheadjones, bettycooper, veronicalodge)_ **

**veronicalodge:** so jughead what did he do bc i wasnt aware we were punishing him for something I’m just playing along

**jugheadjones:** oh when we went to the grocery store yesterday as soon as we walked in he said ‘gonna go fondle some fungi see ya folks’ and then completely walked away from me

**bettycooper:** that child worries me sometimes

**veronicalodge:** what did he mean by that

**jugheadjones:** he picked up a single mushroom and stroked it and then put in in one of the mushroom bags and handed it to me and to this day i dont know whether he was high or just being himself

**bettycooper:** ‘to this day’ it was yesterday bitch boy

**jugheadjones:** @fbi my friends are bullying me

**_The Core Four_ **

**illiterate:** WHERE DID YALL GO 

**jugheadjones:** the jury had to convene

**veronicalodge:** we have decided your fate

**bettycooper:** these are not correct courtroom proceedings but thanks i guess

**veronicalodge:** GOD JUST TELL HIM WHAT HE’S GUILTY OF

**illiterate:** have i been a naughty boy

**jugheadjones:** yes you have

**jugheadjones:** and you deserve to be punished

**_bettycooper_ ** _ left the chat _

**veronicalodge:** aansgajahsnjxchjdhsbxjshsnznxjshx

**illiterate:** can’t believe betty left what a coward

**_jugheadjones_ ** _ added  _ **_bettycooper_ ** _ to the chat _

**bettycooper:** i genuinely don’t know if you were Trying to have big Dolores Jane Umbridge energy but you did and it unsettled me

**illiterate:** no we were trying to kinky

**jugheadjones:** kinky used as a verb

**veronicalodge:** add that to his list of crimes

**illiterate:** WHAT IS MY LIST OF CRIMES

**jugheadjones:** crime number one: kinky as a verb

**illiterate:** fair

**jugheadjones:** crime number two: you skipped our Bro Roadtrip

**illiterate:** I HAVE APOLOGISED SO MANY TIMES FOR THAT AND IM STILL SO SORRRRYRYYRYRYYYRY

**jugheadjones:** crime number three: the fungus incident

**bettycooper:** yeah he gets the death penalty for that one

**veronicalodge:** goodnight archiekins

**illiterate:** IT’S LIKE 6 PM NOT GOODNIGHT HHHHH

_ Friday 07:59 _

**bettycooper:** wow our conversation from yesterday was a wild ride from start to finish

**illiterate:** yeah you guys all just kind of left after wishing me goodnight in the early evening

**veronicalodge:** sorry i had to fuel up with dinner so that i could plan a date today

**bettycooper:** ooooooooh a date for who??? r u matchmaking???

**jugheadjones:** Betty,,,

**veronicalodge:** sweetie,,, darling,,,, wife,,,,,,

**bettycooper:** oh you meant planning OUR date

**bettycooper:** COOL LET’S DO THAT

**illiterate:** isn’t it weird that Veronica thinks of Betty as her wife and juggie and i think of betty as like   a weird mix of child/niece/cousin??? does that make Veronica our daughter-in-law @jugheadjones

**illiterate:** I’m going to create a family tree of everyone in our grade

**jugheadjones:** um yes absolutely

**illiterate:** cool beans *finger guns* 

**veronicalodge:** die 

**_veronicalodge >> bettycooper_ **

_ Thursday 20:38 _

**veronicalodge:** soooo betty let’s do some planning

**bettycooper:** yeah you said there was a movie you wanted to see??

**veronicalodge:** yes theyre showing bohemian rhapsody at the cinema in greendale, wanna go see that? 

**bettycooper:** uh yeah obviously!!! rami malek is an angel and he won an oscar for his role in it sooo 

**veronicalodge:** yeah he’s incredible and i love him but MOVING ON what do u wanna do after that

**bettycooper:** picnic dinner? I make some mean sandwiches and salad and cake and scones

**veronicalodge:** I’ll bring some electric candles 

**bettycooper:** gotta set the Mood

**veronicalodge:** glad we’re on the same page I’m planning to have your tongue in my mouth by at least halfway through the movie we’re gonna be Those teenagers

**veronicalodge:** if you’re cool with that ofc 

**bettycooper:** honestly if you meet me in an empty classroom later we could get a head start on that making out

**veronicalodge:** AKSHAHAJAHSJSHSHXBSJHS SOUNDS GOOD 

**bettycooper:** ;)

**_Help Me With My Friends Being Weird_ **

**veronicalodge:** AKSJSHAJAHAJSHSJAHAKAH

**veronicalodge:** ELIZABETH ‘BETTY’ COOPER JUST SCHEDULED A RENDEZVOUS WITH ME TO MAKE OUT IN AN EMPTY CLASSROOM

**kevinkeller:** you guys r cute :)

**kevinkeller:** i want a boyfriend

**meanie :( :** try not to steal our title as Lesbian Power Couple of Riverdale High

**tonitopaz:** we can share the crown if you deserve it when you become a Healthy and Loving Couple

**veronicalodge:** thx auntie toni

**tonitopaz:** no problem niece

**_kevinkeller >> illiterate_ **

**kevinkeller:** hi Archie

**illiterate:** what’s up kev

**kevinkeller:** learned from Betty that you’re compiling a family tree of riverdale high junior year, and while i don’t know if genuinely you were joking but i thought you’d like to know

**illiterate:** I’m not even slightly joking continue

**kevinkeller:** Veronica just called Toni her aunt and Toni acknowledged it and claimed her as her niece

**kevinkeller:** ur welcome bye

**_Everyone Who’s Relevant_ **

**_illiterate_ ** _ added  _ **_bettycooper_ ** _ and  _ **_veronicalodge_ ** _ to the chat _

**illiterate:** so here’s the full rundown

**josiemccoy:** of what Archie

**moosemason:** yeah uhhh what

**bettycooper:** what dumbass shit is Archie getting up to this time

**kevinkeller:** Let Him Speak

**illiterate:** \- Toni and Cheryl are married. Jughead and I are married. Betty and Veronica are married.

**illiterate:** \- Betty is Jughead and my daughter.

**illiterate:** \- Veronica is Toni and Cheryl’s niece and our daughter-in-law.

**illiterate:** \- Kevin is like Betty’s cousin or something 

**kevinkeller:** thx for including me since i gave you intel

**moosemason:** WHAT

**illiterate:** it’s a family tree keep up 

**illiterate:** if you want to be included tell me 

**_kevinkeller >> moosemason_ **

**kevinkeller:** want to be married

**moosemason:** yeah sure it’s a friend thing right?

**kevinkeller:** if you want it to be :)

**_Everyone Who’s Relevant_ **

**kevinkeller:** Moose and i are married

**illiterate:** thanks

**josiemccoy:** i want to be included!!! someone adopt or marry me

**veronicalodge:** you can be my mom and by extension Cheryl or Toni’s sister?

**tonitopaz:** sounds good to me welcome to the family sis

**josiemccoy:** i am Blessed

**reggiemantle:** what is happening??

**_illiterate_ ** _ removed  _ **_reggiemantle_ ** _ from the chat _

**veronicalodge:** bye lol

**illiterate:** ok thanks guys I’ll add you to the official family tree diagram that i have

_ illiterate sent a photo: THEFAM.jpg _

**jugheadjones:** that’s,,, surprisingly detailed actually

**bettycooper:** Archie why do you not put this much effort into your SATs

**illiterate:** my name is Archie ‘Illiterate’ Andrews i only have the brainpower for shenanigans

**meanie :( :** wow Archiekins that was three long words in one sentence! you’ve really outdone yourself

**jugheadjones:** fight me cheryl

**illiterate:** love my protective bf

**josiemccoy:** WHAT

**moosemason:** WHAT

**jugheadjones:** oh i think you two + reggie are the only people left in this chat who don’t know

**illiterate:** yeah we’re dating aka married

**illiterate:** that’s what that’s supposed to mean @kevinkeller @moosemason in case you didn’t know

**_kevinkeller >> moosemason_ **

**kevinkeller:** k so i was wrong

**moosemason:** that’s fine i guess

**moosemason:** don’t,, bother telling him to change it

**kevinkeller:** is this your dumbass way of asking me out

**moosemason:** is that /your/ dumbass way of semi-ambiguously saying yes or maybe no idk

**moosemason:** what’s the answer

**kevinkeller:** yes i will go on a date with you

**moosemason:** :)

**_Everyone Who’s Relevant_ **

**moosemason:** yeah we know

**illiterate:** cool

**illiterate:** WAIT A SECOND

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the longer wait guys (i SWEAR the beronica date will be in the next episode)  
> the family tree conversation is def something me and my friends would talk about (i started writing and then that just ran away from me)
> 
> rest in peace luke perry. i'm going to miss you


	6. disney princess & vampire

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry it's been like twenty years but this is the longest chapter yet soooo
> 
> i wrote this while listening to only a girl by gia woods on repeat so if you want some atmosphere i'd recommend that song

**_The Core Four_ **

_ Saturday 10:24 _

**illiterate:** hey guys you know how betty’s real name is elizabeth

**bettycooper:** unfortunately

**veronicalodge:** yes whats ur point

**illiterate:** petition to call her a different ‘elizabeth’ nickname

**jugheadjones:** lizzy

**veronicalodge:** libby, beth, lisbet

**bettycooper:** stop this nonsense

**illiterate:** elsie, lizbeth

**veronicalodge:** bessie

**bettycooper:** noooo

**jugheadjones:** liz, elsa, bizzy

**veronicalodge:** someone pick your fave and change her username

**illiterate:** also @jugheadjones take away betty’s group admin rights so she can’t change it back

**_jugheadjones_ ** _ removed  _ **_bettycooper_ ** _ as group admin _

**_illiterate_ ** _ changed  _ **_bettycooper_ ** _ ’s name to  _ **_lizzy bizzy_ **

**lizzy bizzy:** i’d fight but that’s kind of cute

**veronicalodge:** YOU’RE cute

**jugheadjones:** is this allowed

**illiterate:** we are like this in the group chat literally all the time

**lizzy bizzy:** yeah shut up jughead and let us b cute

**veronicalodge:** just wanted to remind you guys that we have our first date today :)

**lizzy bizzy:** even though we’ve already made out like 5 times

**veronicalodge:** and we’re going to see a movie and then have a romantic picnic in the park

**lizzy bizzy:** and i can 100% guarantee we will be official girlfriends by the end of it bc Why Wait when you can also uhhh Not wait 

**veronicalodge:** why would i wait to be the legal girlfriend of someone as amazing as elizabeth ‘betty’ ‘lizzy bizzy’ ‘betts’ ‘b’ cooper

**jugheadjones:** ‘’’’’legal girlfriend’’’’’ you arent married

**veronicalodge:** not yet

**lizzy bizzy:** not yet

**illiterate:** YOU HAVENT EVEN BEEN ON ONE DATE

**illiterate:** next youll be saying you love each other

**veronicalodge:** we’ve been friends for like two years it would be totally normal for us to say we love each other

**lizzy bizzy:** love u ronnie

**lizzy bizzy:** SPEAKING OF WHAT ARE SOME OTHER VERONICA NICKNAMES

**illiterate:**  there actually arent many i can think of

**jugheadjones:** vero, ron, ronna

**lizzy bizzy:** fun fact!! veronica is the latinized form of bernice and it means she who brings victory

**veronicalodge:** because i bring victory in having cool friends to anyone who’s around me

**_jugheadjones_ ** _ changed  _ **_veronicalodge_ ** _ ’s nickname to  _ **_shut up bernice_ **

**illiterate:** that sentence doesnt even make sense @shut up bernice

**jugheadjones:** beronica who???? i only know bernizzy

**lizzy bizzy:** I HATE THAT AND I DONT KNOW WHY

**shut up bernice:** it looks kind of like those ‘one thicc bih’ memes that were funny in 2017

**illiterate:** bernussy

**jugheadjones:** im breaking up with you

**illiterate:** sweetie honey darling babe no im sorry

**lizzy bizzy:** karma

**_lizzy bizzy >> shut up bernice_ **

**lizzy bizzy:** so while the gays get up to their nonsense uhh how formal do i need to be dressed

**shut up bernice:** uhh im going like kinda nice but comfy bc we r going to have to walk a little bit to get to our picnic spot

**lizzy bizzy:** im so glad it’s a nice day or our picnic plans wouldve been Quashed

**shut up bernice:** god bless good weather

**shut up bernice:** i’ll pick you up at like 5.30? then it’ll be like 8 when we have our picnic and thats kind of dinnertime

**lizzy bizzy:** i love that u can drive

**shut up bernice:** defying stereotypes

**lizzy bizzy:** see u then xox

**_Help Me With My Friends Being Weird_ **

_ Saturday 15:12 _

**shut up bernice:** this group needs a new name

**_shut up bernice_ ** _ changed the group name to  _ **_help veronica get a girlfriend_ **

**meanie :( :** that’s fine

**tonitopaz:** ooh isn’t your date today???

**shut up bernice:** yes and i need you three to hype up my outfit and makeup thx

**kevinkeller:** send!!! pics!!!!

**_shut up bernice_ ** _ sent an image: TELLMEIMPRETTY.jpg _

**tonitopaz:** GORGEOUS

**meanie :( :** normally i’m not one for black skinny jeans, but you look beautiful 

**kevinkeller:** QUEEN

**kevinkeller:** u look AMAZING betty has no idea whats gonna hit her

**_lizzy bizzy_ ** _ created the chat _

**_lizzy bizzy_ ** _ added  _ **_kevinkeller, meanie :(_ ** _ and  _ **_tonitopaz_ ** _ to the chat _

**lizzy bizzy:** guys i just made this chat to show you my date outfit

**_lizzy bizzy_ ** _ sent a photo: lookincute.jpeg _

**tonitopaz:** ajdbafgwkhflewg

**meanie :( :** AAAA

**kevinkeller:** YESSS

**lizzy bizzy:** thanks guys thats all

**_lizzy bizzy_ ** _ deleted the chat _

**_help veronica get a girlfriend_ **

**kevinkeller:** betty just sent us a photo

**meanie :( :** not to be dramatic but you’re going to go through cardiac arrest

**tonitopaz:** yeah this is gonna end in a double murder

**meanie :( :** the vixens will perform at your joint funeral

**shut up bernice:** why didnt u say ‘get cardiac arrested’

**meanie :( :** because that’s not what you say?

**shut up bernice:** maybe it should be

**kevinkeller:** i understand your username now!!!

**tonitopaz:** haha stop 

**_shut up bernice >> lizzy bizzy _ **

**shut up bernice:** I’m on my way to pick you up 

**lizzy bizzy:** !!!!kajamxhnszkhckszhsjajns

**lizzy bizzy:** see you soon

**_help veronica get a girlfriend_ **

**shut up bernice:** GUYS I SNUCK AWAY TO THE BATHROOM AT THE MOVIE THEATRE TO SCREAM

**shut up bernice:** S H E

**meanie :( :** we did warn you

**shut up bernice:** she is literally the most beautiful,,,, Disney Princess,,,,,, fairest in the land

**kevinkeller:** u guys are dressed like a princess and a vampire…

**tonitopaz:** dream couple

**shut up bernice:** no no no if i was dressed like a vampire I’d be wearing a flowing black dress but this is pretty good too

**shut up bernice:** OK IM GOING BACK TO MY DISNEY PRINCESS DATE AND ALSO RAMI MALEK BYE

**_lizzy bizzy >> illiterate, jugheadjones_ **

**lizzy bizzy:** guys Veronica looks h o t

**lizzy bizzy:** SHES IN SKINNY JEANS AND THIS I N C R E D I B L E BLOUSE

**lizzy bizzy:** i am,,, enamoured and also a little turned on

**illiterate:** tmi 

**jugheadjones:** why arE YOU TEXTING IN THE MOVIE THEATRE

**lizzy bizzy:** IM NOT IM IN THE BATHROOM HIDING 

**illiterate:** then go back? 

**illiterate:** go get your girl 

———————

The movie was undoubtedly good, but Betty hadn’t really been concentrating on it for the past twenty minutes. To be fair, it didn’t really look like Veronica was concentrating much, either, since they’d been alternating between staring into each other’s eyes and slowly nudging their hands closer and closer together.

In profile against the blaring brightness of the movie, Veronica was almost glowing, her silky hair forming curls of darkness around the sharp line of her jaw. She smiled at a line in the film, and Betty’s breath almost got knocked out of her. She let out a strangled gasp that she turned into a cough, and Veronica turned to look at her.

They were sat at the back of the movie theatre. Nobody was sat right beside them. Veronica visibly glanced to Betty’s lips, and Betty leaned forward.

Veronica’s lips tasted of high-end lipstick and popcorn and candy, and all she could smell was whatever fancy moisturiser she had put on, and then they really were  _ those teenagers,  _ trying to get as close as they could to one another without literally sitting on each other’s laps. Somehow, despite their having kissed several times before and once for a solid hour, this kiss felt real. It felt like wildfire, it felt like coming home, it felt like getting hit by a supernova. It was what she didn’t know she’d been waiting for ever since they’d met. 

Just as their hands were tangling in each other’s hair, and holding on to their waists, a middle-aged woman a few seats down coughed loudly and purposefully, and Betty giggled, breaking the kiss in favour of squeezing Veronica’s hand, placed in her lap. Date, part one, successful.

They walked out of the movie theatre, hand in hand, flushed, with tousled hair and easy giggles tumbling from their lips. The car wasn’t parked far from the movie theatre- Veronica seemed to have a knack for finding a parking space with very little effort. The car’s open top let the warm air blow their hair back, and their loud singing to whatever was on the radio rang out over Sweetwater River as they drove to their picnic spot.

The walk wasn’t far, and the two of them strolled in comfortable quiet, watching the sun begin to creep toward the horizon in the west, feeling the dry grass crunch under their feet. They sat down in a dry clearing, surrounded by trees, and Betty rolled out their red picnic blanket while Veronica grabbed out their food. Betty had made it all, and it was going to be delicious, if she did say so herself.

They ate quietly, occasionally leaning over to kiss between bites of quiche or cake that made their mouths taste of icing sugar and strawberry. The sun was dipping low, painting the sky with colour that shone on Veronica’s face and made her skin glow golden, and her brown eyes catch like flames.

“You have really pretty eyes. Have I ever told you?”

“Maybe once. Tell me again.”

———————

**_The Core Four_ **

**_lizzy bizzy_ ** _ sent a photo: GOALS.jpeg _

**shut up bernice:** thought you guys would want to know how our date is going

**illiterate:** i am floored

**jugheadjones:** how did you even take a photo like that without a third person there

**shut up bernice:** the ghost of Jason Blossom took the photo

**lizzy bizzy:** we brought a tripod and put it on a timer bc the E’s in Elizabeth and Veronica are for Extra

**illiterate:** two types of people

**jugheadjones:** But it looks like you’re having a good time

**illiterate:** yeah and that’s a really nice photo

**lizzy bizzy:** thanks, Veronica looked too beautiful under the sunset for me to not want to take a million photos kissing her in front of it

**shut up bernice:** @ god i don’t know what i did in a past life to deserve this but I’m guessing it was good

———————

“Veronica?”

“Yeah?”

“What are we?” 

Veronica had been prepared for this conversation, but she hadn’t been prepared to have it while Betty was sitting in her lap, hands wound around her neck, Veronica’s lips on her collarbones. She leant back to put enough space between them so that she would be able to concentrate and have a serious talk.

“Look, Betty. I don’t know if you want to be all-in as much as I do. All I know is that I want to keep doing this. Going on dates with you, kissing you, all of this.”

“I—“ Betty paused, swallowing hard. “If by all-in, you mean  _ girlfriend,  _ than I assure you I want that just as much as you do. I feel like now is a good time to admit I’ve had a crush on you for, like, a year?” Veronica grinned, feeling deliriously happy.

“That’s a very good time to tell me that. So. Betty Cooper, will you be my girlfriend?”

“I would be honoured.” Betty replied, leaning back into a tender kiss before sitting back again, breathing deeply.

“Hey, so, you know how I said we should bring candles to set the mood?”

“Has it been set yet?”

“Well and truly. Now, shut up and make out with me.”

———————

**_The Core Four_ **

_ Saturday 21:36 _

**illiterate:** hey guys it’s getting kind of late so just wanted to check if @shut up bernice & @lizzy bizzy are ok

**jugheadjones:** yeah we haven’t heard from you for an hour 

_ Saturday 22:27 _

**illiterate:** getting highkey worried

**jugheadjones:** it’s like 10pm and fully dark and this is riverdale

**jugheadjones:** just let us know you’re safe

**lizzy bizzy:** OH FUCK IT’S 10PM

**lizzy bizzy:** WE DID NOT REALISE

**shut up bernice:** sort of lost track of time while trying to get my tongue as far into my GIRLFRIEND’S mouth as possible ;)

**jugheadjones:** ah u made it official

**jugheadjones:** looking forward to you two being even more obnoxious

**lizzy bizzy:** aw u think we’re cute deep down

**lizzy bizzy:** But Yeah we sort of got a little distracted

**shut up bernice:** it was like we were in our own little bubble and neither of us wanted to leave

**jugheadjones:** *a world alone by Lorde starts playing*

**illiterate:** babe no that’s an US song 

**shut up bernice:** we can share that song

**lizzy bizzy:** im playing it in the car and OMG that is us

**lizzy bizzy:** ‘you’re my best friend, we’re dancing in a world alone’ ‘i’m biting my nails, you’re biting my lip’ uhh that’s beronica 

**lizzy bizzy:** i see what you mean though it is kind of you guys too

**illiterate:** sharing is caring folks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaaand that was the beronica date folks! hope it lived up to your expectations
> 
> now i have no clue where i'm going with this fic but i'll figure it out


	7. messy gays & cheryl

**_Rivergays (lizzy bizzy, shut up bernice, meanie :(, tonitopaz, kevinkeller, moosemason, fangsfogarty)_ **

_ Sunday 23:17 _

**_lizzy bizzy_ ** _ added  _ **_illiterate_ ** _ and  _ **_jugheadjones_ ** _ to the chat _

**lizzy bizzy:** welcome, Archie and Jughead

**tonitopaz:** the best chat expands

**kevinkeller:** tbh i feel like the ‘1 in 10 people are gay’ stat is entirely innaccurate like a solid 90% of my friends are lgbt

**jugheadjones:** do you not think that’s just maybe your gay energy, Kevin

**kevinkeller:** You make a good point

**shut up bernice:** who in the Relevant groupchat is even straight

**meanie :(:** josie? 

**shut up bernice:** Nope 

**illiterate:** then why isn’t she here

**kevinkeller:** idk lol this would be pointless if it was basically the same people as that chat

**kevinkeller:** Archie and Jughead deserved to be here though they’re a cute couple

**tonitopaz:** uhh reggie’s straight right

**meanie :(:** I mean, I assume so? 

**illiterate:** yeah he’s straight

**moosemason:** uh well,,,

**kevinkeller:** WHAT

**lizzy bizzy:** tea??

**kevinkeller:** i mean it’s bad to out people but also like we won’t tell anyone

**moosemason:** yeah I’m not sure but him saying ‘just two straight dudes doing some theatre’ last week really SMACKS of overcompensation

**moosemason:** especially as he was referring to himself and Archie, who is decidedly not straight

**jugheadjones:** he’s really a whole dumbass

**shut up bernice:** @tonitopaz @fangsfogarty sweet pea?

**fangsfogarty:** I Don’t Know

**fangsfogarty:** God I Wish I Knew

**tonitopaz:** yeah i genuinely have no clue folks

**kevinkeller:** Hmm

**lizzy bizzy:** interesting

**fangsfogarty:** Wait what’s the Relevant groupchat?

**meanie :( :** oh yeah, you’re not in it

**shut up bernice:** it’s just a chat with all the people in our grade who are actually relevant to school and town life and aren’t just very minor background characters in Archie’s catastrophe

**illiterate:** :( why my catastrophe

**lizzy bizzy:** you’re the one who gets up to the most nonsense and you’ve almost died the most times

**illiterate:** Veronica’s father is Hiram lodge??? Betty, your father was the black hood?? Jughead is the leader of a gang??? Cheryl might have burned down her mansion?????

**shut up bernice:** fine it’s a shared catastrophe

**lizzy bizzy:** D:

**illiterate:** sorry for bringing That Man up betty

**lizzy bizzy:** it’s okay

**fangsfogarty:** anyway why aren’t i in the groupchat

**tonitopaz:** I’ll add you the next time something’s happening in it :)

**fangsfogarty:** thx :) also @illiterate we learned about your family tree and btw me and sweets are married

**jugheadjones:** MARRIED MEANS DATING

**fangsfogarty:** oh

**fangsfogarty:** WELL MAYBE IF I KNEW WHETHER HE’S STR8 OR NOT THEN THAT COULD BE ARRANGED

**tonitopaz:** thats a mood

**lizzy bizzy:** how is that a mood you have a gf

**tonitopaz:** yeah but i didnt know if cheryl was into girls for, like, ages, so it’s a mood

**shut up bernice:** lol same with us @lizzy bizzy 

**lizzy bizzy:** asdjksadkfhg yeah

**kevinkeller:** just a bunch of messy gays

**fangsfogarty:** motion to rename the chat to messy gays

**illiterate:** i second the motion

**jugheadjones:** i third it

**_fangsfogarty_ ** _ changed the group name to  _ **_messy gays_ **

**_meanie :(_ ** _ changed the group name to  _ **_messy gays & cheryl_ **

**meanie :( :** i am not messy

**jugheadjones:** messy doesn’t look like a word any more

**illiterate:** messymessymessymessymessymessy

**moosemason:** cursed word

**jugheadjones:** guys my only life plan is to die at some point

**kevinkeller:** change of subject????

**lizzy bizzy:** how edgy of you

**shut up bernice:** hey archie

**illiterate:** what…

**shut up bernice:** when ur with jughead,,, be careful not to cut yourself

**illiterate:** ??

**jugheadjones:** the dig on me is coming

**shut up bernice:** on all that EDGE

**_tonitopaz_ ** _ changed  _ **_jugheadjones_ ** _ ’s name to  _ **_3edgy5me_ **

**3edgy5me:** fine mom

**shut up bernice:** aw now the whole core 4 have Funky Nicknames

**lizzy bizzy:** our groupchat is going to look ridonkulous

**tonitopaz:** RIDONKULOUS

**meanie :( :** RIDONKULOUS

**illiterate:** RIDONKULOUS

**fangsfogarty:** RIDONKULOUS

**shut up bernice:** RIDONKULOUS

**kevinkeller:** RIDONKULOUS

**moosemason:** RIDONKULOUS

**3edgy5me:** RIDONKULOUS

**lizzy bizzy:** RIDONKULOUS

**shut up bernice:** betty u said it the first time

**lizzy bizzy:** i know i just wanted to be included

**kevinkeller:** that looks like a harry potter spell

**3edgy5me:** ridicculous

**tonitopaz:** do you,, mean riddikulous

**illiterate:** riDICC

**meanie :( :** please stop

**meanie :( :** why did we add archie to this chat please delete him @ groupchat god

**lizzy bizzy:** groupchat,,,, god,,,

**meanie :( :** get off my back idk who the admin is

**kevinkeller:** it’s me and im not deleting him sorry cheryl

**meanie :( :** I’ll buy you a milkshake on our double date if you kick him

**kevinkeller:** tempting but alas 

**illiterate:** double date?

**tonitopaz:** uhh Kevin and Moose and Cheryl and I are going on a double date bc Kevin/moose are awkward idiots who didn’t want to go on their own individual first date

**3edgy5me:** haha losers

**shut up bernice:** @illiterate @3edgy5me @lizzy bizzy can we like,,, do a double date as well

**3edgy5me:** no double dates are for bad teen drama-romance tv shows

**illiterate:** jughead i love you but isn’t our entire life basically a bad teen drama-romance tv show

**3edgy5me:** love,,,, me,

**kevinkeller:** Wait have you guys not said that before

**tonitopaz:** how long have you two been together??

**illiterate:** like,, two months ish

**shut up bernice:** shit lol

**_illiterate >> 3edgy5me_ **

**illiterate:** jughead i’m sorry if i made you feel uncomfortable

**illiterate:** i wasn’t really thinking when i said it

**3edgy5me:** it’s fine Archie like do you ever really think

**3edgy5me:** i told you i loved you platonically before we were a couple because i did, it’s just weird hearing it now

**illiterate:** yeah i understand 

**3edgy5me:** cool

**illiterate:** but i did mean it, even if i wasn’t thinking 

**illiterate:** i love you, forsythe pendleton jones iii

**3edgy5me:** and i would’ve said it back if you hadn’t used my ugly name

**illiterate:** :(

**3edgy5me:** sigh FINE i guess i love you too 

**illiterate:** :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> umm sorry it's been almost a month and also that this chapter is a bit shorter than usual  
> school just got INSANELY BUSY but it's almost the holidays so i'll update a bit more frequently then
> 
> if theres anything you would like to happen/any ideas for the direction this fic could go plotwise (haha theres no real plot) PLEASE COMMENT THEM im so starved for creativity
> 
> also just comments in general make me immensely happy so if you have any thoughts pls pls comment!
> 
> hope u enjoyed! sorry my end note was almost as long as the actual chapter


	8. river-gale

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi im back in record time

**_the core four_ **

_ Saturday 22:27 _

**_shut up bernice_ ** _ sent a video: BETTY.mp4 _

**shut up bernice:** we’re at cheryl’s bday thing and betty is getting absolutely hype to shut up and dance by walk the moon

**illiterate:** that song?? slaps

**illiterate:**  like that song and we didnt start the fire are the two songs that make me the MOST hype

**3edgy5me:** uhHHHHH

**shut up bernice:** jughead dont even START with your pretentious bullshit about modern music

**3edgy5me:** SHUT UP AND DANCE IS NOT EVEN ON THE SAME PLAYING FIELD AS SONGS LIKE WE DIDNT START THE FIRE

**3edgy5me:** how can you even say that

**shut up bernice:** maybe let people enjoy things?

**illiterate:** veronica?

**shut up bernice:** yes archie??

**illiterate:** I AGREE WITH YOU BUT SHUT UP AND DANCE W/ UR GF

**shut up bernice:** HELL YEAH IM LIVING IN A TEEN STEREOTYPE

**illiterate:** anyway jughead moving on from ur nonsense- wanna go to cheryl’s thing??? it’s not too late

**3edgy5me:** sure if you want to

**illiterate:** it’ll be fun and you won’t HAVE to socialise and I’ll ask the dj to play mcr PLEASE

**illiterate:** oh you said yes

**3edgy5me:** well now you have me convinced

**illiterate:** hell yeah I’ll pick you up in 20?

**3edgy5me:** cool

_ Sunday 13:58 _

**shut up bernice:** so it’s good to know that cheryl and toni have absolutely NO boundaries when it comes to PDA while they’re drunk

**lizzy bizzy:** im so glad that none of us were drinking bc i feel like both beronica and jarchie would be absolutely the same way

**shut up bernice:** oh without a doubt

**3edgy5me:** i feel like im hungover and i didnt even drink anything

**illiterate:** thats called being tired after a party juggie

**shut up bernice:** archie dont b mean jughead has obviously never been to a party before so he wouldnt know

**3edgy5me:** yes i have!! i lost my party virginity last year

**shut up bernice:** never say that again please

**lizzy bizzy:** well at least thats one kind of virginity you’ve lost

**shut up bernice:** one down

**3edgy5me:** lmao not the only kind

**illiterate:** ;)

**lizzy bizzy:** OH

**shut up bernice:** eyoooo get it boys

_ Monday 12:46 _

**shut up bernice:** guys this weather is literally ridiculous what

**lizzy bizzy:** global warming

**3edgy5me:** doo doo doo doo

**lizzy bizzy:** What now

**3edgy5me:** read ‘global warming’ in the tune of here comes the sun 

**lizzy bizzy:** ~here comes the Impending Peril on a Global Scale~

**illiterate:** but you’re right Ronnie

**lizzy bizzy:** it was just cold this morning, then half an hour ago it was raining so hard, and now it’s sunny

**3edgy5me:** sunny and also super windy

**shut up bernice:** i guess you could say it’s

**illiterate:** i can feel a bad joke coming

**lizzy bizzy:** don’t do it it honey

**3edgy5me:** no no no

**shut up bernice:** blowing a river-gale???

**_3edgy5me_ ** _ removed  _ **_shut up bernice_ ** _ from the chat _

**lizzy bizzy:** :(

**_lizzy bizzy_ ** _ added  _ **_shut up bernice_ ** _ to the chat _

**shut up bernice:** thank u baby

**lizzy bizzy:** ur welcome darling

**lizzy bizzy:** But that was bad

**illiterate:** ‘honey’ ‘baby’ ‘darling’ what’s with the nicknames today ladies??

**shut up bernice:** we’re trying something sh

**shut up bernice:** arent we sweetheart

**lizzy bizzy:** yes cherie

**illiterate:** this is too much

**3edgy5me:** yall have like 1950s married couple energy

**lizzy bizzy:** the 1950s couldnt handle us but i like the aesthetic

**shut up bernice:** we’re coming for cheryl and toni’s nickname brand

**illiterate:** hot take you guys r more of a power couple 

**lizzy bizzy:**  i would say thank you but evidence?? theyre like indestructible

**illiterate:** you got together by making out in the student lounge in front of all of us while wearing wigs and pretending to be each other and if that isnt a power move??

**shut up bernice:** we have like a different energy to them though

**shut up bernice:** theyre like intense and madly in love n we’ve only been together like,, less than a month

**lizzy bizzy:** we’re on our way to defeating them B)

**shut up bernice:** yell heah

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this one's pretty short! 
> 
> let me know in the comments or by sending me a message or ask on my [tumblr]() whether you'd prefer me to publish shorter chapters more frequently or longer chapters less frequently xox
> 
> also like!!! flick me a message on tumblr if u just wanna chat lol i love talking to people about fandoms! i promise im not a creepy old man!!
> 
> also i realised yesterday that over 50 people are subscribed to this fic!!! hello everyone!!! thanks for sticking around!!
> 
> thx for reading! comments n kudos feed me!!


	9. the coolest kid on the block B)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uhh guys i listened to sick of losing soulmates by dodie clark while i wrote this so if you want to thats a good soundtrack  
> also it isn't beta-ed or edited so if theres mistakes im Sorry i'll reread it soonish
> 
> finally, i think this is the chapter that takes this fic over 10k words!! yay
> 
> enjoy!

**_Everyone Who’s Relevant_ **

_ Tuesday 15:26 _

**shut up bernice:** guys petition to call gryphons and gargoyles anything but its actual name

**josiemccoy:** i’m interested elaborate 

**shut up bernice:** like,, call it anything starting with the letter g

**lizzy bizzy:** for example: glassblowing and gargling

**josiemccoy:** geese and giggles

**josiemccoy:** garlic bread and guffawing

**shut up bernice:** YOU’RE GETTING IT

**tonitopaz:** hey  **@meanie :(** wanna play a round of Grizzly Bears and Gazebos

**illiterate:** GAHGJDHASFGIHS

**_tonitopaz_ ** _ added  _ **_fangsfogarty_ ** _ to the chat _

**fangsfogarty:** we should set up an official Gauze and Glaciers group chat

**lizzy bizzy:** PEAK COMEDY

_ Wednesday 13:27 _

**josiemccoy:** um just saying @ yall who’ve changed your usernames to inside jokes from other groupchats?? i dont know who you are

**meanie :( :** I feel like it isn’t hard to guess. Context clues, Josie.

**josiemccoy:** well yes I know You’re cheryl but who is everyone else even

**lizzy bizzy:** clearly i’m archie

**3edgy5me:** and this is obviously veronica

**tonitopaz:** shut up you guys PLEASE just change them 

**josiemccoy:** why is it always the four of you plus cheryl that do this??

**lizzy bizzy:** ugh FINE

**lizzy bizzy** changed their name to  **bettycooper**

**shut up bernice** changed their name to  **veronicalodge**

**3edgy5me** changed their name to  **jugheadjones**

**illiterate** changed their name to  **coolest kid on the BLOCK B)**

**josiemccoy:** archie…

**coolest kid on the BLOCK B):** ALL OF YOU RUIN MY FUN

**coolest kid on the BLOCK B)** changed their name to  **just archie then i guess :(**

**jugheadjones:** Archibald Please

**just archie then i guess :(** changed their name to  **archieandrews**

**archieandrews:** only for u

**meanie :(** changed their name to  **cheryl bombshell**

**tonitopaz:** cheryl you just HAD to be special

**cheryl bombshell:** YOU ALL KNOW WHO THIS IS 

**josiemccoy:** thanks everyone

 

**_The Core Four_ **

_ Wednesday 16:23 _

**veronicalodge:** omg betty and i are at pops and i think cheryl and toni are arguing

**archieandrews:** holy shit what

**jugheadjones:** about what???

**bettycooper:** i think it started out as about something dumb like jokingly

**bettycooper:** but now i think it’s about an actual problem

**veronicalodge:** oh SHIIIIT

**archieandrews:** spill the beans

**bettycooper:** oh thank god im so glad u didnt say spill the tea

**archieandrews:** oh beans???

**bettycooper:** stop im trying to listen and youre making me snort laugh

**jugheadjones:** veronica’s been typing for SO LONG

**bettycooper:** yeah the argument keeps evolving we’re trying to keep up

**veronicalodge:** ok so they were talking about the serpents I think and then it turned into Arguing about the serpents? and when I said ‘oh SHIIIIT’ it was because toni said something like ‘I feel like sometimes you see me as your charity project’ and cheryl just about screamed

**jugheadjones:** oh my god!!

**bettycooper:**  how can this happen on lesbian visibility day Honestly????

**veronicalodge:** cheryl just said like ‘honestly it’s pretty insulting that you thought that, I’ve only ever wanted to help you and the serpents’ and toni said ‘well that’s just how i feel, maybe you should think before you throw your money at things sometimes”

**veronicalodge:** okay they’re both definitely crying this hurts to listen to

**archieandrews:** do they know you’re there?

**bettycooper:** i don’t think so?

**veronicalodge:** please figure this out please figure this out please figure this out

**jugheadjones:** please communicate like adults please communicate like adults please communicate like adults

**_cheryl bombshell >> veronicalodge, bettycooper_ **

**cheryl bombshell:** i know youre listening

**veronicalodge:** how are you texting us This legibly under the table 

**cheryl bombshell:** im just talented like that

**cheryl bombshell:** ok anyway

**cheryl bombshell:** look I hate to ask for help with anything but if you hadn’t noticed, I’m not the greatest at being nice

**cheryl bombshell:** or like, making my girlfriend, whom I love, realise i dont see her as a charity project or anything like that, i just like to spend money on her and buy her things and stuff like that bc i love her! and want her and her family to be happy! and i have the financial security and stability to be able to do that!!

**cheryl bombshell:** and you guys are good at that and also have heard this whole argument

**bettycooper:** oh cheryl Honey

**bettycooper:** ok so she loves you a lot too and what you said in that message was really sincere

**veronicalodge:** hold her hand and look her in the eyes and say like exactly what you just said

**_The Core Four_ **

**veronicalodge:** cheryl just texted us asking for advice

**bettycooper:** shit theyre adorable

**veronicalodge:** she followed our advice

**archieandrews:** have they figured it out????

**veronicalodge:** theyre actually talking about this rather than shouting

**bettycooper:** aww yeah theyre holding hands

**veronicalodge:** AHH TONI JUST KISSED HER HANDS AND MOVED TO SIT NEXT TO HER

**jugheadjones:** choni continues to reign supreme over all of the rest of us

**bettycooper:** ok theyre making out now this feels weird

**veronicalodge:** betty and i are leaving now lol

**bettycooper:** adasgdjgadga they just like ran to cheryl’s car and SLAMMED the door

**archieandrews:** are they actually going to,,,

**bettycooper:** yeah i think theyre doing That cmon ronnie lets leave faster

**_veronicalodge >> cheryl bombshell, bettycooper_ **

**veronicalodge:** IM GLAD YOU GUYS R GOOD NOW BUT PLEASE REMEMBER UR IN A PUBLIC PARKING LOT AND YOUR WINDOWS ARE  N O T TINTED

**cheryl bombshell:** oh,,  yeah,,

**bettycooper:** BYE STAY SAFE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> all of you?? watch she-ra season 2 it's on netflix
> 
> anyway happy lesbian visibility day! here's some choni!!
> 
>  
> 
> also shoutout to catralovesgirls on tumblr! thank you for screaming abt beronica with me!! i always appreciate your comments sm!
> 
>  
> 
> thx for reading, all

**Author's Note:**

> my tumblr is [galaxy-houseplants](https://galaxy-houseplants.tumblr.com)
> 
> thanks for reading!


End file.
